Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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