smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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