About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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