I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
