I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
