There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Randomize
