Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
