Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
