she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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