as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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