I think im going to throw up on grandma
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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