The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize