You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
