She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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