But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
