turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
