thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
