i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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