i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
