you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
