i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
