You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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