Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
