Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize