yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
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