yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
