You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
