Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
they need to just BURY HIM!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
