I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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