theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
