no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
