Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Let's get the cat blown out
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
