We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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