I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
