butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
