watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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