My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
