a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
you never un-have a 4some
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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