I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
