cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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