OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Is it because I queefed?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
