either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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