I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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