; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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