Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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