he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
