I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We are all done wearing pants today
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
