when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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