am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
