You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
