Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
