Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
