I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
So squirting runs in the family.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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