Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
