I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
sarcasm needs its own font
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize