Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
